Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Twenty-eight.



So I said I'd be back Wednesday with a birthday post for Piper, totally forgetting that Tuesday, today, was my birthday.  My twenty-eighth birthday, in fact.  I'm feeling pretty.....odd.  

I don't necessarily feel old; I just feel weird.  I hate that I am getting closer and closer to my thirties and I still am only qualified for entry-level jobs.  I hate that I'm still 60 credits away from my bachelor's degree, when high school classmates either have or are working on their master's already.  I sort of feel like I'm wasting my life as a SAHM, and then I begin to hate myself for feeling that way.  This past week has been so fun for me...planning and throwing Piper's birthday party, making rainbow cake pops yesterday to bring to her class today, taking Beck to the playground for hours on end.  That is the kind of stuff I enjoy doing, but why do I feel like I'll be a failure if that's all I end up doing with my life?  

I wish I could get my degree in crafting and party-planning.  

But enough of this mopey business.  I've been moping all day and it needs to stop.  So, on that note, I thought I'd make some goals for this year...my 28th year.  This is my first year doing something like this, but I love the idea and feel like it'll give me some direction in this life that I'm living. These are ten things I'd like to do before my next birthday, and I'll check in periodically throughout the year as I check them off. 

1.  Crochet two afghans for the living room (preferably before winter hits).  We have a serious lack of blankets in our house right now and I can't see buying a boring throw blanket when I can make one that I know I'd love even more.  

2.  Run a 5K.  I am NOT a runner, but I've always wanted to be.  

3.  Go back to school OR figure out a new crafting business.  I feel like my life has become the kids, and I need something else that is mine alone.  

4.  Take a family vacation this summer.  Even if it's just down the road to Bismarck, I want us to go on a vacation together.  

5.  Wear less jeans.  I'm just now coming into my own style-wise, and I would really like to further develop that this year.  I want to move away from the jeans-and-perfect-tee towards dresses and skirts and adorableness.  

6.  Spend one day absolutely spoiling myself rotten.  I'm talking pedicure, lunch, shopping, and maybe a movie too.  

7.  Find more ways to encourage Beck's energy and excellent motor skills rather than try to stifle it.  I'm realizing more and more how awesome my little man is, and that I need to stop trying to force him to be someone he's not.  Who cares if he won't sit through an entire meal at a restaurant, or if he uses the kitchen tongs to pick up leaves in the backyard?  He's not a sit-down-and-play-quietly type of kid, and I need to stop trying to force him to be. 

8.  Spend more time reading with Piper.  I've always wanted to read to my kids every night, but it's something I've fallen out of habit with, and I hate that.  We do really well for a week or so, and then I just let the stress of day-to-day life get in the way and skip the story before bed.  Now that Piper is learning to read in school, I feel like this is the perfect time to really focus on this habit and do my part to instill a love of reading in her.  

9.  Be a better wife.  I realize this is kind of vague, but I really want to make an effort to do more for my husband this year.  Leave him love notes, put the kids to bed early so we can have a quiet dinner alone, take the kids out for the day to give him a break, etc.  I need to make more of an effort.  

10.  Find a way to be happy and make it happen.  This year has been probably the most difficult of my life.  I need something to change, and I need to make that change no matter what it takes.  



And that's that!  It's quite the list, but I feel like it touches on all the areas of my life that need improvement.  I look forward to seeing how much of the list I accomplish...hopefully all of it!  



2 comments:

  1. Good for you Sophie, Don't we all have something that we wish we were doing better or want to achieve something different so our lives mean something. I just turned 35 last month and your post mirrored what I had been thinking and feeling (albeit in different regards) but just hadn't put to print. Maybe I should.

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  2. HAPPY Birthday!!!
    I think we all start trying to compare ourselves to other people's standards??? I think you would be a great party planner!!!! Maybe some other mom's might need some help with parties and you can lend some help.
    I love your goals! I need to do that... I'm almost 33 now -- boo!!!! I also want to run a 5K and am not a runner!
    I'm so glad we have become blog/instagram buds! You are an awesome lady!!

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