Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Closing up shop.

Found here, original source unknown


Well, I lasted a month and a half.  

Unfortunately, running a custom crochet store right now is just not possible.  I am struggling with severe depression and trying my hardest to be positive for my kids and for my husband but I'm honestly being pulled in six different directions so I need to cut some of those ropes before I fall apart.  The store is the first to go.  Even when I don't have orders to make, I have this little voice screaming at me to make new things for the shop, to skip the much-needed nap (since I'm getting maybe five hours of broken sleep a night now) to design an Angry Birds hat that I know at least three people are waiting on, to add new listings to the shop and network.  I never end up doing that, so then I have this constant guilt sitting on my shoulders...this never ending list of things I should have done instead of playing Tiny Tower on my iPhone for 45 minutes.  

I am feeling so many different emotions right now, but the biggest one is frustration.  I'm frustrated that my husband has a job that has him gone so often, leaving me with our two young children in a crappy, drafty house that's falling apart.  I'm frustrated that no one seems to care that he's gone more than he's home.  I'm frustrated that I keep sabotaging my diet with stress-binges.  I'm frustrated that I can't make a much-needed appointment with a therapist because I have no one to watch the kids.  I'm frustrated that I spent 2011 so very depressed and that, three days in, 2012 is already starting out much worse.  I'm frustrated that I am constantly held back from the things I want to do by things that are out of my reach.  I'm frustrated that Minot has zero options for stress relief; there's one place I can take both kids to let them burn off some steam, and they're getting sick of it already.  I'm frustrated that my husband is coming home tomorrow instead of today like he was supposed to.  I'm even more frustrated that he'll be going back out to work on Friday morning.  

I guess the point is, I'm barely able to stay positive enough to give my kids a normal life right now, so there's no way I can stay positive enough to sell my work.  I'm sorry.  I really, honestly am.  I'll still be blogging, as it's been really therapeutic the past few weeks.  I'll still be crocheting, and I'll write about it here, but I won't be selling anything anymore.  I just can't do it.  

Obviously if you've purchased something from me, I'll make it for you. Unpaid orders will not be filled, however.  If you have any questions, please feel free to email me at sophie@sophieplayshooky.com  

3 comments:

  1. Sophie, my dear, get yourself healthy and screw the rest. Love from Utah.

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  2. Sophie I understand exactly what you are going through. Keep your head up and get back to your beautiful self. :-) much love
    Nelly H

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  3. Sophie, depression really sucks. I've been there. I hope you are able to overcome this. It is possible! I know it seems that it is not and you are just frustrated. This is NOT a predictor as to how this year will go for you. It will get better. Though you cannot see thru the clouds right now, there is happiness for you and your family on the other side. Just let the storm pass and learn to dance in the rain. You are beautiful and very loved. You have the strength to make it thru.

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