Saturday, December 17, 2011
That picture up there is exactly how my day went today...and believe me every time Beck cried I wanted to just cry right along with him. Everything that could possibly go wrong today went wrong. It was one of those days when I wished over and over and over again that I could just crawl back into bed and start the day over...one of those rare days that makes me hate that my husband is in the military.
His job here is so hard...hard on him, and even harder on me and the kids. He's at work for four days (this time five though), and supposed to be home for five, but probably half the time it's only two. And just because he's home doesn't mean he's off; he gets called in for training or pee tests or who knows what else. He just checked and he's been at work for 175 days this year, more than anyone else in his squadron. Pretty sucky considering he only started working in the missile fields in February.
I miss my husband. I miss having his face be the first thing I see every morning and the last thing I see every night. I miss having help with the kids. I miss being able to go and do thing as a family, instead of hoping scheduled activities or appointments fall on a day when he's home, and if not, taking them by myself (like today).
We found out the other day that the Basic Allowance for Housing here is going up a *ton* next year, and I think we're going to look into purchasing a home. We are really unhappy here, and part of me thinks that if we had a home we actually liked and felt comfortable in, it would be easier to deal with. It scares me at the same time though...buying a house in a town we are so unhappy in, but this place is only getting bigger and I'm sure if by some miracle we find a way out of here we could easily sell it. I really, really, really hate our house right now. We live in some of the oldest houses on base, and it just feels so gross and dark and just cold, no matter how much I decorate.
Sorry for such a downer of a post :( On the bright side, Brandon should be home Monday afternoon and by some miracle will be home until December 26th! Fingers crossed the schedule doesn't change, cause our little family could really use a week together.