but busy is good, right?
With the way my husband's schedule is going here, it seems to be. He works out on the missile fields out here...cooking for the guys who work out there. He leaves in the morning and comes home in the afternoon four days later, and then he's supposed to be off for five days. Which would be lovely...except that's NOT how it's been for our first month here. Actually, we haven't even been here a month yet, but he's worked three back-to-backs with only two-three days off in between.
I shouldn't complain, really; with this job he's ineligible for deployment. But honestly, it feels like he is deployed. I'm by myself with the kids the majority of the time. I'm the one who shovels the driveway, fixes the car, pays the bills, figures out whether or not we can afford daycare for at least Beckett so I can get stuff done during the day, takes out the trash, cleans the house....I do EVERYTHING most of the time.
I'm starting to wonder if I am going to have time for school AND my shop on top of all my other responsibilites, and honestly, it would break my heart if I had to give up either. Both give me such immense satisfaction and a huge self esteem boost...both help me to remember I'm not just "mom", I'm Sophie. I've found someone to watch Beck for a few hours a couple of the days Brandon is gone, so that's good. I kind of feel silly putting one child in daycare and not the other, so I think I'm going to see if the preschool on base has any openings. Might be more productive if I am completely child free, you know? I feel like this is something I need to do for myself...I've spent way too many years just being mom. It's time to be mom AND work towards a future for myself.
With that little mission statement of sorts lol, I'll sign off for now. Brandon should be home tomorrow, which means I have a crap ton of housework to do :) Till later, my lovelies!