Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Arizona.

I don't really consider myself to be all that political, but I do pay attention to what is going on, and I typically form my own opinion about most scandals/issues/events. I like to gather as much information before I decide where I stand...I'm not one to blindly listen to some political commentator who's paid way too much for nothing more than brainwashing anyone who's willing to listen.

That being said, this crap Arizona is pulling is so unbelievably ridiculous I literally am left speechless. I'm having a hard time putting my thoughts, my feelings into words.

I cannot believe anyone thinks this is okay.

I really can't.

I cannot imagine living in a country where it is okay for a policeman to stop someone on the street and demand to see their identification simply because they look like they're from a different country.

What happened to The Great American Melting Pot?

I understand we have a big problem with illegal immigrants. I understand it's typically a bigger problem in the southern states.

But is it such a big problem that the only solution is to resort to racial profiling?

Does this country really need another enemy?

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Earthquake Park

Piper and I snuck out of the house today to enjoy the sunshine and check out Earthquake Park on the west side of Anchorage. We walked quite a bit of the Coastal Trail...I wasn't sure Piper was going to make it back the whole way to the car but she's a trooper.


She had lots of fun making footprints in the snow.

And was clearly thrilled to stop running around long enough to take a photo with her momma.

Out there in the distance is Mt McKinley...I could barely see it too so don't worry if you cant.

Don't you just love her little hat and hoodie? It's gonna be a sad day when she won't let me pick out her clothes anymore.

These trees were so gorgeous.

I couldn't get enough of the green on blue contrast.

Obviously.

This is what the earth did back in 1964...how terrifying would it be to experience an earthquake of this magnitude?

And this is my favorite photo of the day. She's growing up so fast...I look at her and can't believe four years have already gone by.


I love these little stolen mommy-daughter moments. They've become such a rare thing since Beckett came...in a way it makes me sad, but their rarity makes them that much more treasured.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Sunshiney Day

So Anchorage decided to pay attention to the calendar today and bless us with a cheerful, happy, sunshiney (and a bit chilly) day. We bundled up and headed out front for the first of many trips to the playground this spring/summer.


I picked up the ShakeitPhoto app for my iPhone, and needless to say, I've been playing with it all day.



Beckett looks kinda ghostly in this one, but I like it.



Our afternoon in the sunshine made me realize how much I love my Kindle...I had absolutely zero issues finishing The Unit by Ninni Holmqvist (highly recommended, by the way) in the brightest of bright Alaskan Sunshine, but could barely make out the screen on my iPhone. Win for the Kindle.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Lazy days.

I've declared today a Lazy Day, which basically means I won't be taking a shower, because this particular Lazy Day will be full of a small amount of both the washing and putting away of this:



And even though it's not my responsibility since we have an arrangement (the hubs does the dishes, I empty the dishwasher), these:


And hopefully a whole lot of this to top it all off:




Don't you just love Lazy Days?

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Funkalicious.

I've been in a funk these past few days. I won't go into too much detail on here, simply because I'm not exactly sure who reads this and I don't want to cause unnecessary drama. Let's just say that old feelings of inadequacy I thought I had dealt with (or at least buried deep enough to be able to ignore) have resurfaced, and something I was very much looking forward to has quickly become something I am dreading.

What do you do when someone hurts you unknowingly, and has been for as long as you can remember? Do you confront them? And if so, do you try and think of every little incident you can think of over the past twenty years or do you just focus on the latest incident? Because the latest doesn't seem like that big of a deal all by itself...but bringing up everything all at once feels like an attack instead of an attempt at a healthy relationship.

I think I've gotten over the whole "I'll never be good enough" way of thinking; I've realized that it's true...I never will be good enough for this person, but I AM good enough for my husband and my children and they are the ones that matter. What hurts now is the blatant disrespect, the inconsiderate behavior, the selfishness, the laziness, how horribly this person treats others I love, and how very sad that makes me feel.

I'm trying to stay positive...trying so very hard to keep the bad memories and old tears hidden away in their secret little hiding places deep inside my heart. Trying not to spend the next few months in a constant state of anxiety over something I cannot control. Trying to focus on what is good in my life...my loving husband, my sweet children.

But today, I feel as gloomy as the view outside my window...cloudy, rainy, wet...sad.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Lately.

I've been thinking a bit about what I want to do with my life lately...is this it? Part of me feels like I'd be failing if I ended up doing nothing more than being a mother and a wife. I'm lost as to exactly whom I'd be failing, however. Myself? My children? My parents? My husband? I honestly can't think of a career I'd want to go to everyday more than I want to be home for my children when they step off the school bus, make dinner for my husband every night, volunteer in classrooms and chaperone on field trips, bake goodies for bake sales, and make sure our home is a warm, happy place for all. I wonder if I'd feel this way if my mother had been a career-woman. I can feel her influence in my parenting; I feel as if I'm a failure if I even think about purchasing a birthday cake instead of making it myself. I know mom never meant for me to feel that way, but because she always did everything from scratch, I feel like I must.

I'm just rambling, really...the kids keep distracting me so I'm sure this is as incoherent as the thoughts running through my mind. It's a boring, lazy day today; we woke to 3 inches of snow and huge flakes still falling out of the sky. It's April, for Christ's sake. I'm so glad this is our last year here.