Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Lately.

I've been thinking a bit about what I want to do with my life lately...is this it? Part of me feels like I'd be failing if I ended up doing nothing more than being a mother and a wife. I'm lost as to exactly whom I'd be failing, however. Myself? My children? My parents? My husband? I honestly can't think of a career I'd want to go to everyday more than I want to be home for my children when they step off the school bus, make dinner for my husband every night, volunteer in classrooms and chaperone on field trips, bake goodies for bake sales, and make sure our home is a warm, happy place for all. I wonder if I'd feel this way if my mother had been a career-woman. I can feel her influence in my parenting; I feel as if I'm a failure if I even think about purchasing a birthday cake instead of making it myself. I know mom never meant for me to feel that way, but because she always did everything from scratch, I feel like I must.

I'm just rambling, really...the kids keep distracting me so I'm sure this is as incoherent as the thoughts running through my mind. It's a boring, lazy day today; we woke to 3 inches of snow and huge flakes still falling out of the sky. It's April, for Christ's sake. I'm so glad this is our last year here.

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