Friday, June 20, 2008

my biggest fear.

My biggest fear is that I will become my mother, both in physical and emotional state. I want to be a better mother than my mother was...I want to be a better wife than my mother is.
A few weeks ago I made a decision to improve my emotional well-being...I got back on prozac. I've only been on it for a few weeks, and already I can see the difference. I have more energy, more patience, less bitchiness, less sadness. It's just one step towards becoming a better I was hesitant to take, but now am glad I did.
Today, I have made a decision to improve my physical well-being.
I am going to lose 50 pounds.
I'm tired of hiding behind my weight. I'm tired of taking forever to get dressed because nothing fits right. I'm tired of only having two pairs of jeans that fit me anymore. I'm tired of making excuses to not work out. I'm just sick of being fat.
I've always been overweight; but there was a day when I was comfortable with my body, for at least a short time. I was the smallest I had ever been when I got pregnant with Piper...I weighed 156 lbs and wore a size 8. Today, I weigh 207 lbs and wear a size 16. I'm being honest with you guys...because I need your help.
I can't do this alone.
I plan on blogging my progress every week. I'll weigh in every Friday. If I screw up, I'll tell you. If I miss a scheduled work-out, I'll tell you. I need you to keep me honest.
I'm also posting pictures every week. This is how serious I am taking this...I need you, my closest friends, to motivate help support me. Sure, it's, I'm not too excited about showing all 100something of my friends my stretch marks....but nothing I've done before has worked.
So, here are my rules:
NO FAST FOOD. (I put this one in caps, cause it's my weakness.)
Drink 64 oz of water a day.
Go to gym most days, take the dog for a walk on days I don't go to gym.
No soda unless I have drank my 64 oz of water.
Eat a fruit and/or vegetable with every meal.
Take multivitamin/fiber supplement!
Eat out no more than once a week.
I plan on doing weight watchers...once we get bills settled and can afford the extra $17 or so bucks a month. :-D Paying off bills is nice, but it sucks in the mean time. that's that. Today's picture and weight is in my photo album titled "50 lbs to a better me".

See you next Friday.

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