Tuesday, August 22, 2006

it's been a while.

hello my peeps.
i just realized how long it's been since I've posted.
so here I am.
posting.
Piper will be five months old on September 4th, and she is just a character and a half. She's smiling all the time...and has mastered rolling from her back to her tummy (I have a video to post of it...if you're lucky I'll get it up tonight). She loves cartoons, and will sit and play with her toes and/or hands for hours.
We started feeding her baby food a couple weeks ago...so far, she likes oatmeal, squash, and green beans. And blue otter pops. And sucking on pineapple and watermelon.
Her sweet personality just lights up my life.
I got a tattoo last weekend. I wanted to get something for Piper, but not her name. It's cool if other people get their kid's names...but it's not for me. I wanted something that was special to her and me. So I got a sunshine. I call her my sunshine, and sing that song to her, so it was perfect. And it hurt a whole lot less than I thought it was going to.
I'm still working at Fairchild Semiconductor. It's nice, because Brandon and I are on opposite shifts so we don't have to worry about daycare. And i don't feel guilty about leaving her all day, cause she's at home with her daddy.
Speaking of Brandon, he and I are doing great. We moved into our own apartment about a month ago...it's nice to be on our own and starting our lives together as a family. We got a place in Murray...just a little two bedroom apartment, but it's within walking distance of an Albertson's and Murray City Park, which is nice.
My life pretty much consists of work the first half of the week and Piper and Brandon and my family the second half. Which is fine by me.
People still ask me about church, so here is my stance: too many good things have happened in my life as a result of actions that are not condoned by the LDS faith for me to be an active member. I refuse to "mormon bash", because I feel the basic concept of the religion is fundamentally good: solid morals, good family values, acceptance of all race, gender, religion...people. I will say, however, that I still believe in God, and I feel his presence almost every day, which, based on the way I live my life, should not be. I should not "have the holy ghost" with me according to the LDS faith, because I have sex out of wedlock and I have a tattoo and I drink alcohol occasionally.
It is extremely difficult for me to look at my life as it is now and feel I need to repent or that I will not be going to the celesial kingdom or whatever it is that is up there. I have a loving boyfriend who has given me a beautiful daughter. We are devoted to eachother and to raising her together to give her the best life we possibly can. I have a great job, and yes I work on Sunday, but because of this, Brandon, Piper and I are able to spend the end of every week together as a family. No, Brandon and I are not married. But we both feel that because we didn't rush into marriage when we found out we were pregnant, when that day does come, our marriage will be that much stronger because it will be for the right reasons.
I believe in God, with all my heart. How someone can look into a baby's eyes and not believe in Him is beyond me. I believe everything happens for a reason, and that He ultimately knows that reason. It just takes us a little longer to figure it out. I believe in being a good person, in not judging people for what they believe or who they love or what their skin looks like. I believe all things should be taken in moderation. If you can't go a day without a coke or a beer or a cup of coffee, it's time to quit. I believe you should always strive to better yourself, whether through education, excersize or diet. I believe it is a mortal sin to cause any harm to a child, and that the greatest blessing He could ever give us is to be a parent.
I do not regret being baptized into the LDS faith, because if I hadn't, I probably never would have found God, let alone Brandon and my Sunshine.
And that's what I think.